Last night I taught my first class as a dedicated yoga teacher, free of the corporate world and no longer rushing from work to home to class.

I ate an early tea and got to the health centre with time to spare, time to sit and meditate for a few minutes, time to focus on my breath and my space so that by the time my students arrived I felt calm and the space in which we practice felt filled with positive energy.

It was a small class last night as some students are still away for the Easter break, but it was a good one. I felt that for once I was teaching from the heart, not just going through the motions, I had the time to prepare myself beforehand and therefore had the time to dedicate to my students during their practice, and that is, after all, what they pay me for.

Long may this continue.

The first day of spring approaches (as does a forecast of snow as usual and the mad rush to bring the plants back indoors before they are killed by the inclemency — but that’s another story), and I find my mind turning to rites of spring, rites of passage, letting go of the old and drawing in the new.

Usually at this time of year I change my yoga practice. Through the winter I tend towards a gentle restorative practice, lots of seated and supine postures; but as the spring arrives and the energy starts to rise from the ground again I bring back sun saluations, strong standing sequences and more intense twists. It changes my perspectives on life for the new seasons, re-energising and renewing; as well as kick starting me from my sluggish, hibernatory winter coat.

This year is slightly different. I am still suffering in the back department and still under chiropractor’s orders to keep it simple for a couple more weeks before bringing stronger more classical yoga postures into my practice again. So while my practice itself won’t be changing, my attitude to it will.

The biggest change for me this spring, which really is starting all over again from a brand new bulb almost, is that tomorrow is my last day in my corporate job. After tomorrow I begin spring and my brand new life — dedicated to teaching and studying yoga.

One of the most important things for me about this, which fits in nicely with the change in the seasons, is that I will be able to change the time of day at which I practice. I currently practice, be that classical yoga or my chiropractic exercises enhanced, before bed. I’m tired, eager for sleep, dozing during savasana. From Friday onwards I will no longer have to leave the house at the crack of dawn to get the train to work and will be able to practice in the morning when the energy is ringing and I have the whole day ahead of me.

So sing out for the start of spring and all the possibilities it brings!

Every night I ask my students to relax and let go; let go of all the activities and events of the day. To start to forget about what has happened, worry not about what might happen and instead focus on the present moment – trying not to think past the next breath; whether lying in savasana or holding a difficult pose.

And yet what if I ask myself these questions? On the rare occassions that I even find the time to ask myself these questions I hold the thought for a few seconds, but within a breath or two my mind is racing again – back to all the things I must do, all the things I could do better, all the things I need to achieve tonight, this week, this month.

Bit of a hypocrite really aren’t I?!

So mindfulness – where to start. With self study to begin with; noticing behavioural patterns, noticing how I allocate my time; this latter I have done to the shocking realisation that all I really do is rush around from class to class from work to yoga. How yogic! I need to be honest with myself, face up to my own truths no matter how painful that is, because without seeing my own truth how can I possibly tell others how to look for theirs?

But mostly I need to let go of my fear of failure, my desperate need to achieve. It is no less than grasping, stealing, constantly wanting more. I need instead to access a state of abundance and flow by remaining in the present and enjoying the time that is available to me right now.

A tall order, but something for me to think about as my last week in my day job approaches. I need to change my attitude and experience of time and achievement and it is not until I practice this myself that I can truly teach my students to be in the present moment.