I usually see my yoga teacher on Thursday evenings but tonight is Bonfire Night here in the UK and we go to my parents’ for a party (more on that tomorrow I hope!) so I went last night instead. We are currently working through the chakras, one chakra a week so I really didn’t want to miss a week. Last night was Anahata Chakra, the heart centre. Practices for opening the heart, working into the chest, ribcage and shoulders.

As the practice began I felt a lot of resistance. And I mean A LOT. I haven’t felt that much resistance in a practice for years. My ego was wild with crazy thoughts (and not very yogic ones at that). As many of you know I suffer from an upper thoracic scoliosis, right about where Anahata is which results in a lot of shoulder stiffness and I suspected that this was the source of the resistance. So I stopped thinking about Anahata per se and started thinking about how I always feel I need to work into that part of my back. How I need to focus on straightness, strength and opening there.

And then somewhere during Ardha Chandrasana something snapped and the resistance just fell away and I SOARED!! Suddenly I felt remarkable, like I could do anything. And for the first time in a long time the permanent dull ache of scoliosis just…. disappeared!

One of the translations of Anahata is “Unbound” and that is exactly how I felt – as though all the tension in my upper back and ribcage had just come undone.

I drove home from class with a smile on my face that has just not been there in recent days (things have been a bit tough at home recently).

And then I got home and the cat peed on the beanbag and life went back to normal again!

I do still feel good today although I have a strange hungover feeling (as I haven’t had alcohol in months I am presuming the practice has had a detoxing effect on me), but this experience has made me remember one thing. I have never had any problem finding bliss, especially when it comes to my yoga practice, but I find it so difficult to maintain that bliss off my mat. And I think, if I get a chance, this might be what I write up for Blisschick’s latest project.

We have all done it at some time or other – asked ourselves “What If?”

What if I had behaved differently in a certain situation? What if I had worked harder at school? What if I had taken this job over that job?

There are times in life when we come to a crossroads and we have to make a decision as to which fork in the road we would like to travel down. Often this is not an easy decision and sometimes I think it would be easier if life were more like a Dungeons & Dragons book and I just rolled the dice to find out the outcome!

I have made decisions that in hindsight may have not been the right ones. I’ve never been sure I went to the right university. I have made decisions about people and relationships that have ended up hurting me. What if I hadn’t made those decisions?

But I know that if I hadn’t made these decisions I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I know that even the bad decisions have been huge steps of learning for me.

I have always had a bit of a habit of living in the past, of dwelling on my mistakes (or rather, what I perceive to be my mistakes). I have to remind myself to breathe and to be here with that breath, right here in the present moment. In the present moment the past plays no part and the “what ifs” become merely stepping stones on the journey to the right now.

Do you have “what if?” moments? How do you put them back into perspective?

Samhain greetings bloggers and a very happy Celtic New Year to you all Reading your blogs it seems you all had a lot of fun! As you can see, our pumpkin lantern was not the most artistic one this year, but at least he looks happy!

So this seems as good a time as any to post a list of things that have made me happy this week.

* Kicking piles of autumn leaves into the air on the way back from the Post Office.
* Scratching furry cats’ bellies.
* Watching Himself carve the pumpkin lantern.
* All of my yoga practices but especially class this morning because Himself came too.
* The awesome costumes that the little trick or treaters that knocked on our door last night had come up with (my favourite was the toddler dressed as pumpkin and taking it very very seriously).
* My dad winning the big tin of choccies at our work fundraiser on Thursday and giving the whole tin to me
* Pictures of my friend’s new kitten.
* Having my medicine cards read by my office mate and them just being spot on.
* Making plans for the future.
* Just breathing.