“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)
A regular yoga practice does not automatically make us yogis. A lot of people mistakenly imagine the world of yoga to be different from the rest of the world, but sometimes I think yoga amplifies us, defines not just our better qualities but also those not so nice ones as well. Those prone to ego can grow an even bigger one as it were.
Practicing yoga doesn’t change a person overnight. All the difficulties of everyday life are still there as soon as you get off your mat and the only thing we can control is our reaction to these difficulties.
We are all human and we all make mistakes. However hard we try we will probably continue to make mistakes. And while it is easy to spot flaws in other people it isn’t always so easy to spot them in ourselves. Believe me, as the self-crowned Queen of Unsolicited Advice, I know this. The phrase “physician heal thyself” springs to mind.
A long time ago during my yoga teacher training, I attended a workshop on hand balances. The teacher was strong and flexible and could not understand why I had such a problem with hand balances. She even insinuated that as this was such a problem perhaps I should think twice about teaching yoga.
My problem with hand balances is two-fold. The pain in my hands and wrists from the fibromyalgia can make it excruciating to put weight through them a lot of the time. Secondly, the curvature of the spine from my scoliosis is exacerbated when I’m upside down. Basically that means that without a wall, I fall over sideways. Which in some ways is hilarious.
These days I show my yoga students this amusing overbalance just to show them that none of us are perfect. Back then it was still quite a touchy subject. My fragile ego was shattered by an off-handed remark about my ability to teach. Yoga practice may amplify overinflated egos, but it also amplifies the underinflated as well; lack of self-esteem and self awareness. The strong flexible teacher reacts negatively to the condition of scoliosis and the scoliosis sufferer reacts negatively towards their practice. I’m not sure that in this case either teacher or student were practicing yoga. We were both certainly a long way from being yogis.
I call this blog the Suburban Yogini. That is less a description of me than a description of what I aspire to be. I have come on in leaps and bounds since that workshop on hand balances; I am more sure of my practice, my teaching, my path in life. But I can also be stubborn, irrational, impulsive and moody. I get impatient and irritated too easily a lot of the time. I forget to breathe and open my heart when I’m in everyday situations. I am very much a work in progress.
We can choose to participate in competitiveness, ego and negative feelings or we can tread our own path and try to create examples of open-mindedness and compassion, transcending not only the competitiveness around us but also our physical bodies themselves, wonky spines, painful hands and all.
Because, as Dumbledore says, it is our choices in life that define us.
How do you practice compassion and open-mindedness? What choices have you made that define you?
What a great post- humility, insight and self-confidence. A very appealing combination. I love that you are still the girl who can take the piss out of herself eg demonstrating the overbalancing to students. Hugs xxx
Hi Rachel,
What a great post. Yoga is so much more than Asana… asana is such a tiny fraction of the picture, and really a fairly unimportant one, although it’s good for discipline and of therapeutic to boot.
Funnily I used to suffer from the same overbalance when I was learning headstand! My teacher just couldn’t understand why I was always falling over sideways!
I often tell my friends and students to watch out for the phases of yoga. Sometimes it makes you feel strong and powerful, other days so sensitive you might as well be transparent. Yet more ‘waves’ to ride, and yet more opportunity to practice our yoga off the mat.
PS – Whoever that teacher was is the one who should have been answering questions IMO!
I love the Harry Potter quote!
Excellent thoughts and ideas here. It is so easy to forget how damaging and lasting just a few cruel words can be! I’m proud of you for overcoming (at least some of) yours.
Very nicely said.At this point in life, I have to remind myself to be compassionate(especially to myself). I like what you said about it not being an overnight thing. That is very true. It is a moment by moment thing.
Being honest is one of the things I hope comes to define me. I sometimes don’t stand up for myself because I want to be nice. This year has taught me to really rethink that.I fail at it still but forgive myself and move on.
Some great little jewels in this post; especially: “Practicing yoga doesn’t change a person overnight. All the difficulties of everyday life are still there as soon as you get off your mat and the only thing we can control is our reaction to these difficulties.”
SO very true!
xoxo
Flo
Wonderful insightful post Rachel – for me the greatest gift of yoga has been an increasing awareness of how my ego likes to be in control – both the ‘big’ proud ego and the ‘poor me’ ego and I swing between these two extremes depending on what’s going on in my world. But as soon as I began to observe my ego (instead of identifying with it) it immediately lost a great deal of its power (yay!). And this has allowed me to develop a deep gratitude for my gifts as well as a gentle acceptance of my ‘flaws’, knowing that both are part of being human.
One of my most empowering choices has been to change my striving from a need to ‘Be THE best’, to one of ‘Doing MY best’.
xox
Me again..another thought.
I think whether we call ourselves ‘yogis’ or not is irrelevant, just a label really – the important thing is to practice yoga, on and off our mats – its a lifelong journey. And everyone is at a different stage in the journey, whether it be their level of awareness & compassion, or their level of flexibility, strength & balance.
Being a yogi is not a goal – being human is probably the best we can hope for!
Thank you all of you for your beautiful insightful comments. I’m lucky to have such awesome readers!
“A regular yoga practice does not automatically make us yogis.”
Amen.
and I HATE it when yoga teachers make others feel bad about their skills or challenges they are experiencing. it’s the antithesis of what you should be.
as a teacher, i never ever want to do that to my students and proba go toooo far in the other direction to remind them to be patient and gentle with themselves
Thank you for this post. I love every bit of it.
I’ve often had trouble calling myself a yogini – I feel like I should put the word “aspiring” in front of it or something to make sure everyone else knows I don’t consider myself more than a novice practitioner. And I have the same reservations/hang-ups with the word “writer” – I feel like I should put the word “aspiring” in front of that word too!
When I started my blog, I made the conscious choice to try to stop using the word “aspiring” in front of either of those words. I practice yoga seriously and I take my writing seriously, so why wouldn’t those words describe me?
One of the most disappointing things I had to deal with when I went through yoga teacher training was finding out that some of the people who used to be my favorite yoga teachers have huge (and unpleasant) egos. It was a total shock to me. But I’ve also met many teachers who continue to inspire me, and I’m trying to think kindly about the ones with the egos, as they are on a journey like the rest of us and perhaps will grow out of it. I’m hoping so, anyway.
Lovely. This makes me think of my many physical limitations and reaffirms that there is no “can’t” in yoga, and no “perfect.” There is only “be.”
Listen up folks.. yoga teachers are not perfect! And to potential yoga teachers out there, you don’t need to be perfect or hold every pose perfect in order to be an amazing teacher.