Friends, thank you so much to your responses to my letter to my 12-year-old self. I loved reading all the things you would tell your 12-year-old selves.
La Gitane asked an interesting question – what would my 12-year-old self say to me? That reminded me of a conversation I had with a colleague a few days ago. We were talking about books, about what we used to read in our early teens and it turned out we both lived on a diet of Stephen King, James Herbert and rather gruesome murder mysteries. We both commented on how we used to devour books like “It” and “The Shining” without thinking twice about it but when we return to them now as adults the scare the bejezus out of both of us.
This made me reflect on the sheer amount of fear and baggage we drag behind us as we progress through adulthood. As kids we can happily get sucked into ghost stories but as adults we read them with more trepidation, noticing every unusal noise. Well I do at least.
There’s fear and there’s fear of course. The fear that kicks in when we are actually in danger is one thing, that’s healthy. The fear of life in general is something else. Every negative emotion finds its basis in fear; jealousy, anger, bitteness, judgement – the root cause is always fear. Letting go of this day to day fear and allowing change to happen is hard and takes huge courage. I spent two years being unhappy in my legal job but too afraid to leave the security of the salary and pension scheme. When I actually took the plunge and quit everything turned out just fine. Yes there were hard times when I wondered if I’d made the right choice, yes there was a period of adjustment, but ultimately when it came down to the fundamentals such as my happiness and health it was the right thing to do.
I’m not suggesting you all go out and quit the day job. By no means! But most of us have something in our lives we’d like to change but feel as if we are being held back. Maybe it’s time to feel the fear and do it anyway.**
So in answer to La Gitane, my 12-year-old self would tell me to play more and not worry about things that go bump in the night. Which ironically is pretty much what I told her. Make of that what you will!
“It takes tremendous courage to walk [our] spiritual paths with integrity and honour. No-one relishes the the thought of leaving familiar surroundings… but courage allows us to rise out of that fear into life. It takes courage to step up to the plate and walk head first into our deepest fears.”
–Darren Main “Spiritual Journeys along the Yellow Brick Road” (p.111)
**Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway is a book by Susan Jeffers. It was the first “self help” book I ever read and is probably responsible for all this living in the moment yoga stuff I make a living from. I highly recommend it!
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Apologies for the rather heavy weekend post! Himself and I are off to Birmingham for a couple of days for a break and to see the wonderful Flight of the Conchords. I’ll be back Tuesday evening with a fun picture post, so I leave you with this. I’m sure you’ve all seen it before but these guys never stop being funny. Have a great weekend!!
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hey lovely – you might enjoy this: http://fearlessstories.com/
enjoy FOTC
you are very right. i need to play more and worry less. i should listen to what my 12 yr old self would say
One of my favourite movies is the Aussie classic, Strictly Ballroom. I first saw it when I was 11 and a line I have never forgotten from it is: “a life lived in fear is a life half lived.”
It’s my mantra
xxx
Love this post. I was just thinking the other day that, somewhere along the line, I’ve lost a little bit of that “I can handle anything that comes my way” strength. I’m working now to get that girl back – I liked her!
“This made me reflect on the sheer amount of fear and baggage we drag behind us as we progress through adulthood. As kids we can happily get sucked into ghost stories but as adults we read them with more trepidation, noticing every unusal noise. Well I do at least”
I do as well.
In my training my teachers have been repeating a theme in most classes. “The underlying issue with most of our fears is fear of death or fear of not being loved” these two things fuel all of our fears when you break it down to the very bare minimum.
It is so true!
Haha, my response is to the fact you’re seeing Flight of the Conchords. No way, too cool!!
This is a huge topic! Fear is definitely a main underlying reason why we live the way we live or do the things we do. It either motivates us to survive or cripples us to not realize our full potential. Fear fuels greed. Fear motivates success. Fear inspires insecurities. Fear lives in the past but propels the future. Fear can save your life. Fear is a huge part of us. Face them with presence and courage. I applaud you for getting where you are today. I had a similar job situation two years ago and had the face the same thing again last week… difference is now there is a little more security in knowing that “unknowns” lie ahead
Hope your weekend was fabulous! Can’t wait to see the pic upon return!
Smiles,
Heather
Love this post. I was just thinking the other day that, somewhere along the line, I’ve lost a little bit of that “I can handle anything that comes my way” strength. I’m working now to get that girl back – I liked her!