How did you first come to end up in a yoga class? What brought you there, were you reluctant and how did you feel after your first class?
I actually did not start doing yoga in a class. I first became intrigued by it as a child, when my Dad practiced at home to relieve the stress of his job. I didn’t think much of it in my teen years, but when I was in my mid-twenties, a co-worker revived my interest in yoga. The funny thing was that she wasn’t very nice to me, and we weren’t friendly as a result of that – but she was always showing our students the new poses she’d learned in her teacher training, and often spoke of how proud she was of how strong she was becoming. I started practicing with some Shiva Rea CDs I had bought a few years earlier, and then a DVD, and found that the only thing that could calm me down after a day of teaching was doing sun salutations. It became almost an addiction.
Unfortunately, I believe my inner perfectionist was what ultimately attracted me to yoga at first. This co-worker was very competitive about yoga and my own natural competitiveness made me want to spring right to her level. I pushed myself into poses I had no business doing, and as a result, severely injured my knee in a way that may affect the rest of my life. However, my love for the calming aspect of yoga kept me coming back to it, even while my knee injury created serious limitations to my practice. These two things combined actually turned out to be exactly what I needed in life and in yoga. Normally, if I cannot do something in a way that I feel is “good enough,” I will quit. But I could not abandon my love for the calming effects of yoga practice. So I have been forced to continually challenge my need for perfectionism, and explore the reasons why I developed it in the first place.
As for formal classes, I didn’t attend one until my second year of yoga practice – about one year after my knee injury. It was a Sivananda class, and I went with my best friend. I have long avoided going to classes (even now), as I am extremely uncomfortable doing any physical activity in a room with strangers (old insecurities from being the overweight kid in P.E. class). However, the feeling I had after class – a calm I hadn’t experienced in years – was worth facing the anxieties of group practice.
(Yancy’s yoga vision board)
Tell me a little about your life before yoga. How is it different now you practice regularly.
Before yoga, I would say that I lived a very limited life. I’ve struggled with my weight since I was 12, fought eating disorders throughout my teens and early twenties, used aerobics addictively in an attempt to control my weight, and battled self-loathing every time I looked in the mirror.
When I started to practice yoga, I found myself faced with a new and very confusing landscape: A physical activity that brought me great peace, and one that brought me face-to-face with my worst fears about myself and my body’s appearance and abilities. Every moment on the mat was filled with fear and anxiety and excitement and revelation. I had to constantly pull at the roots of my behaviors, beliefs, and perceptions, and constantly remind myself that what I am in the moment is okay, and that I should always respect my body’s inner wisdom (something my the pain in my knee would not let me forget).
In September, it will have been four years since I started practicing regularly, and I am still struggling with my perfectionism. However, I have gotten control of my weight in a healthy, non-obsessive manner (for the most part, lol!), and continuing my practice is immensely helpful in exploring the insecurities that led me down those destructive paths. Every day is another opportunity to heal those wounds.
What style of yoga do you find yourself drawn to practice (and teach if you are a teacher)? What teachers and other mentors have influenced you along your path?
I started practicing with videos, and love vinyasa flow practices. I always enjoyed Shiva Rea and Seane Corn’s work. I also love Kathryn Budig as a teacher – she makes yoga fun yet challenging. I also intensely miss attending Sivananda classes – since I’ve moved, I can no longer attend, as that studio is nearly 20 miles away and there are no Siv classes in my current hometown. That is probably my favorite practice.
Every yogi has one favourite and one least favourite asana. Tell me a bit about yours.
I absolutely love Triangle. It feels like it stretches every part of my body at once. I have several asanas that I love, but this one is probably always at the top of the list. I think my least favorite is Chataragana. After four years, I have yet to be able to do this – my upper body strength is not so great and I have a “tweak” in my right shoulder. So I find this posture frustrating, and sometimes I can’t even do modifications if my shoulder is acting up.
How do you live your yoga off your mat, every day?
I try very hard to keep accepting myself the way I am, first and foremost. That is the number one struggle that getting on the mat brought up, and I try to use the lessons of self-acceptance that I learn from yoga in everyday life. How I look, what I think, how I respond to a situation, etc. All of it comes under the umbrella of yoga training – learning to accept your limitations, doing the best you can but never pushing yourself further than your capabilities will allow, and listening to your inner wisdom.
Taking these lessons and applying them to OTHERS naturally arises, which makes you more aware of judgments, lack of forgiveness, and any other negative habits you engage in with other people. I’m not saying that yoga has cured me of these bad habits, LOL, but I am constantly more and more aware of them and of how I feel when I engage in this behavior. Then you feel that you have a choice – do I want to continue in this behavior or not?
Yoga has also made me more and more aware of life. Of the life in the earth and the creatures that live all around us. I try to be aware of the importance of all creatures on this earth – even the ones that scare me or gross me out! Everything has a purpose in the garden of life.
Yancy Wilkenfeldt authors A Green Spell and Five Seed , owns a natural beauty business, gardens in the suburbs, practices yoga in her bedroom, strives to use her bicycle instead of her car, and dreams of being a mama to bees, chickens, goats and sheep on a happy little farm of her own someday.
