my yoga story (6): phil

How did you first come to end up in a yoga class? What brought you there, were you reluctant and how did you feel after your first class?

My first class actually came after nearly two years of self study and home practice.

Like a lot of people, I once thought yoga was only for the seriously fit and flexible so I never had the nerve to go to a class in the beginning. Instead I bought a DVD, Simply Yoga by Yolando Pettinato, and had my first go at it in my lounge room in Hobart in April 2005, when I was still hovering around the 100kg mark. I could barely do balasana, because the rolls of flab got in the way and were slowly crushing my lungs, making it impossible to breathe! I was so out of condition and inflexible. I didn’t see myself ever being confident enough to pursue it seriously.

But I stuck at it, and it got easier, and I relaxed into poses a lot more. When I moved to Melbourne later that year I started pursuing yoga with a bit more interest and passion, borrowing every DVD and book I could lay my hands on at the local libraries, sometimes practising for up to an hour a day. My flexibility improved out of sight, although the more difficult poses, especially backbends, I still struggled with. Around that time my wonderful friend Mary sent me Shiva Rea’s Yoga Shakti DVD, which has an incredible yoga matrix on it, and I am still yet to get bored with it. It has formed the basis of my home practice for the past four years.

As my confidence in yoga grew, I found myself really wanting to go to classes and learn more, and to get better at it. But then I got into triathlons at the end of 2006, and I focused on hard-core training for those. The only time I did yoga that whole time was the day before a race to stretch my well-used, worn-out muscles!

Then, in January 2007, I went to Sydney to spend a weekend with Mary and she took me to her regular class at Samadhi Yoga. I was really excited! It was an amazing and truly awakening experience. I discovered that I had the fitness to keep up with the class, the flexibility to be able to do the more difficult postures and enough respect for my body to be gentle with it and see where it wanted to go…..it revealed to me that my body was lot stronger than I thought it was. That class was the start of something – it really made me realise the power yoga had to be a really positive force in my life. I came away from that class, and from that whole weekend in Sydney really, ready for anything.

Tell me a little about your life before yoga. How is it different now you practice regularly?

Before yoga, I wouldn’t have described myself as “self aware” at all. I allowed myself to get carried along by the wants and wishes of others, and I didn’t have any idea really who I fundamentally was as a person. I had no real awareness of myself at all – both the physical space I took up and on a spiritual level. I was in huge denial about my health problems. I was unhappy with a lot of things in my life but didn’t have the guts to admit it. Well, I say that, but I actually had no idea how unhappy I was, because I distracted myself with other things. I had no idea how to be still, and to really listen to myself, to be in the present and assess it. I also had no self esteem when it came to my body – I was used to cursing it and hating it. It never occurred to me that it could be strong.

Now….well, I think it’s the culmination of a LOT of changes in my life over the past five years, but yoga makes me feel so grounded, and very aware of myself, what’s going on with me, and how things are sitting with me, at that moment. I’m a lot more self aware. Yoga has taught me so much about focus, and about acceptance. And I love the way my body feels when I practice. It feels so strong. It feels amazing. It’s wonderful to feel so proud of yourself and your body. That’s something I could never have imagined five years ago. It’s brought a lot of peace and joy into my life.

What style of yoga do you find yourself drawn to practice (and teach if you are a teacher)? What teachers and other mentors have influenced you along your path?

I’ve dabbled in a lot of different styles of yoga, but I come back to ashtanga, every time, for home practice. I need something dynamic and fast flowing, so a power vinyasa is always good for me. Jivamukti is probably the best yoga studio I’ve been to since moving to London three years ago. It was my sanctuary during the first few weeks here, as it took a while for me to find my feet and it was wonderful to have somewhere peaceful to go and to feel stronger and better equipped to handle whatever would be thrown in my path!

I’ve always had a soft spot for Bikram yoga too, especially in the freezing London winters!

My yoga mentors would have to be Shiva Rea, my ashtanga teacher Laura, and my friends Mary and Stella, whom I admire so much for how they “live” yoga.

Every yogi has one favourite and one least favourite asana. Tell me a bit about yours.

I love supta kurmasana (sleeping tortoise), pigeon pose, uttanasana (standing forward bend) and Gomukhasana (cow face pose). Any forward bend or twist, really.

Least favourite – headstand!

How do you live your yoga off your mat, every day?

I went to a lovely hatha class a few months ago and the teacher said something beautiful during one of the meditations that I kept with me afterwards. It was about going through life with a calm and balanced mind, and an open and compassionate heart. That is how I interpret “living yoga” and is definitely how I try to live my life. Being kind, and open to all possibilities in life. Trying to understand why people do what they do, even if it’s hurtful or isn’t what I would do. Sitting with things that are a bit uncomfortable, because I know I will be stronger for it in the long run. Showing support and compassion for people instead of being judgemental or feeling entitled to something from them. Admittedly this is harder than it sounds and I don’t always get it right! But I know from nearly five years of practising yoga that I don’t have to be perfect all the time. Some days will be easier than others – kind of like life, really! But by focusing on positive things and making time to treat yourself well, it makes such a difference. In today’s practice, for example, my dedication was for courage, gratitude and love. I was so agitated before I started my practice today, but I came out of it feeling so blessed and grateful, and ready to do battle with my novel manuscript tonight!

I’ve also learned from my yoga practice that with commitment and the willingness to learn and be guided, by both your intuition and wise souls who care about you, you will succeed in your goals. And also, don’t be afraid of making mistakes because they can lead you to some pretty great places.

“Don’t waste yourself in rejection, nor bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good.”
(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Phil is a square peg Australian girl who found her square hole when she moved to London in July 2007, where she still lives with her soon-to-be husband. She is an editor and writer and keeps two blogs – Green Ink, about her creative writing life and the things that inspire her, and Skinny Latte Strikes Back, which is about her weight loss journey and maintaining her health and fitness. Among her many passions and obsessions are travelling, reading, healthy food, the great outdoors, running half marathons, antique cutlery and, of course, yoga.

(These photos were taken at Phil’s first yoga class by Mary at (rand)ombites.  Please note that she is sitting in half padmasana IN HER FIRST CLASS.  Which goes to show that most of the illusions we have about our bodies are just that.  Illusions.  – Rachel)

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 17th, 2010 at 9:34 am and is filed under my yoga story. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.