Five weeks ago I was at Heathrow checking in for my flight to Australia. It seems like the blink of an eye, and now I’m back, trying to settle back into the old routine, unable to believe the holiday I’d been planning since before Christmas is over.
Truth be told I’ve felt pretty rubbish these last two weeks. A mix of jetlag and despondency. A lack of the sort of energy I need to put back into my business. Even the sunshine isn’t making me smile like it should. Anyone who’s read my blog over the last few weeks knows what a great time we had and even though I didn’t cry all the way home like I did the first time I went to Australia (in my defence I was 12), a big part of me didn’t want to leave.
Last week was bad. I moped and cried and wailed and complained. I was Miss Negative Nellie extraordinaire. I was probably pretty horrible to live with.
Why am I telling you this? Because I want to make a stab at honesty. Because the internet gives us all a tendency to express only a part of what is true. A 2-dimensional us. My heart is in a thousand million bits but I must stay positive in my blog, my facebook, my twitter. I must continue to inspire and smile and grin and pretend it’s not happening.
Which is fabulous. Nobody likes a moper after all.
But I always feel that other people have fabulous lives and don’t get mopey. And then I feel bad for letting the mopes get the better of me.
Yes, I know that’s bullshit.
And so when I read Catherine’s post about feeling oh-so-mopey on Friday I rejoiced. Don’t get me wrong Catherine, I’m sorry you felt down, but I also felt a kind of solidarity. Because so did I.
So here’s the honest truth readers. Sometimes I feel terrible. Truly terrible. And while this too shall pass, it’s OK to feel like crap sometimes.
Everybody does.
My garden is currently full of honesty plants, as you can see from the picture. Therapists who work with flower essences say that we often need that which surrounds us. Essence of Honesty allows us to realign ourselves with the abundance of the universe.
Right now that sounds exactly what I need.
I got back from honeymoon Friday and have to admit to a few tears on the way home, and it’s a loonng time since I was 12! After a week in the beautiful West country, I so don’t want to be where I am. The Master plan includes escaping the grey urban area where we live, but it’s not on the cards for quite a while. This morning’s sunshine is helping me to try and bloom where I am planted – for the time being anyway, whle working with renewed energy towards my dreams.
I love honesty! I had it in my garden a few years ago, not quite sure what happened to it. I should get some seeds for next year.
I cried in the airport on my way back from Connemara last year. In fact, I’d probably be able to cry about not being in Connemara right now if I tried hard enough!
Sorry you’ve been moping, but glad to have you on board the ranks of mopiness
And actually, I think you’re often refreshingly honest in your blog posts, too.
Anyway, I hope you get back to normality soon, and in the meantime I hope you have a good stash of treats, comfy PJs and rubbish films to help you through!
Goodness, what sort of world would it be if we were all “up” all of the time? Honesty is the only way, as far as I’m concerned, but I do know what you mean. Most people don’t want to hear it.
So sorry you’re missing Australia but maybe that means you’ll come back soon?
I meant to mention to you while you were here but I forgot (thanks, mushy brain!) that there’s a bush flower remedy for travel and it can help even weeks later.
I don’t know if you can get it in the UK, but this is the one.
Take care and enjoy the sunshine (it really is getting icy over here!)
Hear, hear!
“Ay, in the very temple of Delight
Veil’d Melancholy has her sovran shrine”
[...] my last post (wow, I’ve learned a TRUCK-LOAD-LOT since then!), Rachel’s post on honesty and Christine’s post on [...]