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Most people who practice yoga regularly have at least a passing acquaintance with the 8 Limbs of Yoga as outlined by Pantanjali in the Yoga Sutras.  I wrote a series of posts on them last year.  The first two limbs are the Yamas and Niyamas - guidelines to live your life by – guidelines which, for the last decade, I have been trying my best to live my life by.

Yama numero uno is Ahimsa, often translated as non-harming or non-violence.  In the yoga world Ahimsa tends to go arm-in-arm with vegetarianism or veganism.  Which is just great, until you realise you might be causing harm to yourself.

Earlier this year when my health was really bad, when I ached all over every day, woke up every morning feeling like I’d been hit by a bus, when I looked too skinny and drawn and had dark circles under my eyes, I went to see a nutritionist.  We talked for a long time about this, that and the other.  And we came to the conclusion that a) I was protein deficient and b) I needed to start thinking about cutting inflammatory foods out of my life (ie diary and wheat).

I have eaten very little dairy for years, on the whole it makes my stomach do things that you don’t really want your stomach to do. No problem, dairy can pretty much go.  Wheat….well I’d had an idea in the back of my mind since the end of last year that I should probably look into how much wheat I eat.  After a few false starts and a long conversation with my lovely friend Svasti, I have been pretty much wheat-free for three months!  And I do feel better; less bloated, less sore, and I really do notice when I (either accidentally or otherwise) do eat wheat. So wheat and dairy.  Gone!

But then there was the protein issue.  For one reason or another I just wasn’t absorbing enough protein from vegetable sources and it wasn’t that I wasn’t eating the right foods, it was just that my body wasn’t doing what it should.  I tried various things, including taking a bunch of digestive enzymes before every meal.

I already ate eggs, but the nutritionist I spoke to thought I should start eating fish (which I have to admit didn’t take much persuading), and maybe some chicken (again it took a lot less persuading than you’d think) and Himself saw the whole thing as a massive excuse to barbecue a lot of different lumps of flesh…..

Ultimately, I have never been vegetarian because I don’t like meat.  I do, I love it.

There I said it.

Ultimately I have always been vegetarian because I don’t want other living beings to die because of me, I don’t want to cause harm, I just want to be guided by Ahimsa.

But as I said, what if you are inadvertently causing yourself harm?

The school of yoga in which I trained teaches that everybody’s body is unique and all of us need different practices and that practice will change as we progress through the cycles of life.  And over the last couple of years I have come to believe that the same is true of diet.  There is no “one diet fits all”.  I know a lot of vegans and raw foodies who are so full of energy it’s a beautiful thing to see but when I eat like that (and I know this is true for others as well), I feel quite the opposite; lethargic and tired.

Over the last few months, as my diet has slowly changed to remove the inflammatory foods and include more organic animal protein (as well as discovering that I don’t digest leafy greens and most raw vegetables very well either), I have started to feel much more like my old self; less tired and much more zingy! I have also noticed my hair, skin and nails are vastly improved.

I spent so long worrying about non-harming towards other living beings I had forgotten about having a non-harming attitude towards myself.  My health has always been a struggle, and I do need to keep on top of it.  I need to be kind to myself and live the life that suits me best, without allowing myself to be made to feel guilty by other’s interpretations of the Yamas or the paths that other people must tread.  If I do not keep on top of my own health, keep myself in top condition, how can I be expected to serve others in my work?

Alistair Shearer, in his interpretation of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, asks us to think about Ahimsa as “a dynamic peacefulness that is prepared to meet all situations with a loving openess.  It is the state of living free from fear.”

To live free from fear we must put judgement aside, love ourselves as much as we love others (for how can we truly know love if we do not show it to ourselves) and find the path that suits our own unique body, our own unique mind, our own unique soul.

I am, as always, a work in progress.

A note before I begin:  I nearly always write my posts the night before they go up.  Today I am especially grateful for doing so as I woke with a nauseous migraine, something I’ve suffered with since I was about 13 years old.  So herewith today’s post.  I will be in a darkened room with an ice pack.  To cheer me though I did get an email this morning letting me know I was on a new list “100 Incredible Yoga Teachers Who Blog”.  I’m there under therapeutic yoga, which is rather a compliment as I never particularly see this blog as specialising.  Anyway, back to bed with me….

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So Lent officially finished on Sunday.  Did those of you with Lenten resolutions see them through?

You may remember I decided to spend the 40 days of Lent working on Ahimsa and now is the time to look back on what that meant to me.

Ahimsa, the first of the Yamas or Moral Restraints in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras is often translated as non-violence.

Being firmly grounded in non-violence creates
an atmosphere in which others can let go of their hostility.
Yoga Sutra 2:35

Rather than looking at is as a lack of violence, I prefer to see Ahimsa as a cultivation of loving kindness towards all beings.  Once we start to focus on loving kindness we often realise how many of our thoughts are unloving and unkind.  I am often seen to get increasingly impatient in the supermarket queue behind that old lady who just will not stop talking to the cashier and get on with packing her bags, and I am afraid to say there has been more than one incident of flipping the bird at a passing motorist who cuts me up when I’m on my bike.  By being mindful of these things, however, and noticing when they are happening I can take a breath, open my heart…..and react in a different way.  Let it go.  Loving kindness.

(Don’t for a minute think this is easy for me.  It just isn’t.  But like so much in life, it’s all about baby steps.)

As Darren Main says in his book Yoga and the Path of the Urban Mystic:-

By simultaneously refraining from violent acts and looking at the unconscious thought patterns that inspire them, we become more peaceful, and our natural reaction to adversity will be peace rather than attack. (page 81).

Ultimately though, to make this search for Ahimsa more personal to me, I wanted to work especially on loving kindness towards myself.  Too often we get so caught up in our work, our families, the chores, the needs and wants of others, we forget about ourselves, our own wellbeing.  For the last 40 days then I have taken some time out each week for me, to do things I want to do — write, read, watch rubbish TV, take a nap, go to a yoga class.

I truly believe that if we don’t take care of ourselves, our ability to take care of others diminishes. By looking after myself I am surprised by how much more compassion I have towards those around me.

Today’s question, dear readers, how to you look after yourselves?

Once again I am feeling remiss about responding to comments so a big big thank you to everyone who has followed me or found my new website and another big thank you for all your lovely comments about my blogoversary and our anniversary. All so much appreciated!

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So how are you all doing with your Spring into Yoga Challenge? What postures have you been working on? What have you discovered?

I have been working on Baddha Konasana and Janu Sirsasana, both of which are hip openers. I have tight hips (you can read more about my right hip here) and have always found these two postures particularly hard and often find myself skipping them during home practice.

But what we don’t want is often what we need so, with a little bit of love and a big dollop of Ahimsa, I have been trying to do one, if not both, every time I practice.

What have I noticed? That just because I have stiff hips doesn’t mean that I cannot get a feeling of deep release if I allow myself to breath and let go in these poses. That often I find myself holding on tight in both these poses, gripping, breathing like a rabbit, impatient for the posture to end. That to release allows me to go deeper into a posture than I thought I could. That neither posture feels as bad as my fear of it does. And that afterwards I feel so much looser, so much calmer, as though I have released emotional tension as well as physical. Clearly I hold tension, fear and emotion in my pelvis.

So I will keep practicing, keep reaching and continue to find the balance between strain and ease; between contentment and achievement.

I leave you dear readers with a 20 minute hip opening practice – I hope you enjoy. Any questions do drop me a line

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Hip Opening Sequence

Begin in Supta Baddha Konasana until you start to feel the hips release.

Come into Happy Baby Pose for a few breaths and then rock yourself up to sitting cross legged. Take a forward bend from here and then change the cross of the legs and repeat.

Come to all fours and take a few cat/dog stretches – inhaling upward cat, exhaling downward dog.

Hold your final downward dog for a few breaths and then step the feet between the hands into Uttanasana.

Tadasana

Step left leg back and come to Trikonasana on the right.

Step back to Tadasana

Step right leg back and come to Trikonasana on the left.

Step back to Tadasana

Step left leg back and come into Reverse Trikonasana on the right

Tadasana

Step right leg back and come to Reverse Trikonasana on the left.

Step back to Tadasana

Inhale, stretch up Exhale release into Uttanasana

Jump or step back to Downward Dog

Bring right leg forward into Eka Pada Rajakapotasana – hold this for at least 10-20 breaths to allow the hip to release. Then step back into downward dog and repeat with the left leg. Notice if you feel any differences between one side and the other.

Child’s pose

Janu Sirsasana – again holding for 10-20 breaths on each side to really allow those hips to release and to notice differences between the two sides.

Paschiomottanasana

Finish with a few moments in Supta Baddha Konasana before coming into Savasana. Allow the breath to fill the pelvic cavity and hips. Feel warmth and release there.