I took a moment this morning to just sit and sip tea. I’d got caught in the rain whilst on my bike, I needed a second to warm up.

And my mind drifted, as it always seems to at the moment, to my business.

It’s no wonder it’s on my mind really.  I’m currently completely overhauling my website with a view to relaunching in August (incedentally, if you want a sneak peak of the logo – lovingly designed by Yoga Gypsy – you can like our new Facebook page) and this means the inevitable rewriting of content.

Self promotion and marketing are two of my least favourite things.  But I know the work I do is important, I know I need to reach out to those who I can help.  And I know the best way to do this is to be as authentic as possible in my marketing approach.

Hence the general obsession with my business right now.

Suddenly this morning though I was aware of how hard I cling to certain ideas about my work.  The number of clients I must have each week, the amount of money I must pay into the bank. There is no freedom there.  No space.

It’s like having tunnel vision.  So focussed am I on booking up all my appointments, filling up my classes, that when I have a quiet week (and they happen and that’s OK), rather then relish in a little bit of unstructured time off I feel as though the sky is falling in.

Yes, my business is important, yes it’s important that we earn money, pay the rent, pay the bills. But it’s also important that I make space for the other things in my life.  You see I am more than just a teacher and a therapist – even though that’s probably what I’d tell you if you asked.  I am someone who loves to read and write, someone who plays rock music too loud, who grows vegetables in pots and believes in fairies at the bottom of the garden, who laughs at dude movies and Woody Allen, who dreams of cocktails in New York and maybe one day actually getting to Seattle.

I am a mish-mash of a hundred different things, just like all of you, and yet this year I have been so focussed on my business that I have become a stereotype of who I think the owner of a yoga and massage business should be.

The truth is that on the whole my clients don’t mind that I have a possum tattoed on my back, they don’t mind what volume my stereo is set at, I don’t suppose they much mind about the crooked spine either. All they want is to feel cared for and to leave an appointment with me feeling better (hopefully) than when they arrived.

I don’t have children, I have never had any desire to, I’ve always felt that my work with pregnant women and new mums is my where my maternal instinct kicks in.  But maybe my business is my baby, and maybe I’m one of those mums who is scared to let go, scared to allow their baby to find out who they are for themselves.  If I grip too tightly, if I keep the apron strings tied, if I continue to dictate the terms on which my business is a success, I will never give it the freedom to flow, nor will I have the space to do much else than think about it.

My work is out there – after my long break in Australia and my almost-as-long break being sick I’m trying to put my energy back into the right place and allow myself to be me.

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To give myself some space this summer, Himself and I are taking part in Amy’s Summer Read-Along of The Time Traveller’s Wife.

Click the link to learn more and let me know if you’re joining in!

A lot of you already read Nona Jordan’s blog and probably subscribe to her newsletter.  In which case you may already know that she is hoping to form an online Business Yogini circle for 2011.  In October she is offering a free test month in which you can take part and give feedback as she creates the year long course.

Yours truly will be taking part and also offering a yoga sequence for the month (but don’t let that put you off ).  Come join us!!!

Full details as follows:-

Nona Jordan is starting a Business Yogini’s Circle in 2011.  A place to develop and deepen your practice of Yoga in the context of being a business owner.

Her intent is to provide space and direction to explore how committing to a yoga practice on the mat and then taking it off the mat and into your business positively impacts your venture — bringing greater clarity, happiness, and peace of mind while helping you to grow your business organically and naturally, yogini-style.

This test-month will be free — if you decide to be part of the year, there will be a discounted price for yoginis who help me with the test month.

If you are interested and can commit time and energy to being a part of this test group, email businessyogini@gmail.com.

Apologies for the lack of posting. That wasn’t meant to happen but things have been busy!

I’ve been building up my yoga business – everything seems to be going well, I continue with my affirmations and my visualisations for the future. I’m particularly loving teaching the mum and baby classes too!

I’ve been on a few courses including a course with Fiona Agombar on teaching yoga to people with ME/CFS. Having suffered from ME since I was 16 I found the course invaluable in both my own practice and in my teaching — if I can start to bring the therapeutic tools of yoga to people suffering from chronic fatigue and allow it to help them as it helped me it would be wonderful. More thoughts on yoga and ME here.

From this it seems I am assisting Fiona on a retreat in Turkey in October (all things being equal) and hopefully starting up a voluntary yoga class at a cancer hospice in West London. Fingers crossed for all of the above.

My own health rises and falls in peaks and troughs. I am currently waiting for an appointment with a rheumatologist as the all over chronic body pain just gets worse. It is more than just the scoliosis, it is more than just the ME. I am hoping for the fibromyalgia diagnosis to be formalised once and for all.

But the appointment hasn’t come through yet…..