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A couple of weeks ago I had an amazing Kiniesiology session.  After having a session with Kerry while I was in Melbourne in April I’ve been looking for somebody who practices here.  I finally found a local woman who is still training and needed case studies.  I was happy to volunteer.

One of the common themes that kept coming up was releasing and absorbing.  In a physical sense this is all about nutrition.  My gut has never been very good at absorbing the right things, which is one of the main reasons I have had such major dietary changes over the last few months.

On a more energetic and emotional level I have a tendency to hold onto things I should be letting go of and thus not allowing enough space for the good things in my life.  I want to get a bit of a handle on this for 2012, get rid of all that self-sabotage and let the new year be a really bloody good one.  So I’ve been having a think about all the things I need to let go of and all the things I need to encourage in my life right now.

Release

1. Worry – if I can do something about it then do it.  If I can’t, why worry in the first place?

2. Scarcity mentality – there is a bit of an attitude in yoga teaching specifically, but in therapy work as a whole, that because we are helping people, because we love this work, we shouldn’t really ask for prosperity and abundance in a material and fiscal way. Which is clearly bullshit.  I work my butt off and deserve to be paid well for it. So goodbye scarcity mentality.

3. People (both on and offline) who don’t make me happy – I’ve already started this process with a massive clearout of my Google Reader.  There are a lot of blogs out there that make me feel a bit…icky or make me feel I should be doing more, or doing things differently.  Goodbye comparison trap!

4. The need to please everyone – yes well, we all know that’s not possible.  I’ve worked out my niche market and can concentrate on pleasing them.  Then I need to just take this attitude into my personal life.

5.  Competition – I am not in competition with anyone, and no-one is in competition with me. There are enough clients for all of us and I don’t need to feel threatened.

Absorb

1.  Abundance and prosperity

2.  More sleep.  A lot more.

3.  Gratitude – for every small thing.

4.  Getting things done – no more procrastination.

5.  Good health – this is the year I start putting myself and my health first for once!

What are you releasing and absorbing for the new year?

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I have been plagued with headaches my whole life.  I’m not talking a bit of pain behind the eyes, didn’t get enough sleep, might be a bit dehydrated headaches here.  I’m talking Zeus’s head splitting apart to give birth to the god Hephaistus kind of pain.  Skull shattering, head in a vice, affects normal working life pain.  And it ain’t pretty!

I can remember when I first started getting these headaches.  I think I was about 10-years-old.  And I convinced myself I was dying of a brain tumour, clearly there was no other answer, and I didn’t want to worry anyone by telling them.  Over the years as the headaches came and went (and I wised up to hypochondria) Ma Yogini and I thought they must be migraines.  We tried to look for a trigger – cheese, chocolate, red wine, MSG, garlic – they were all eliminated over the years but still the headaches continued.

It wasn’t until I was nearly 30, and the upper thoracic scoliosis that I’d had for years was finally diagnosed by the Greatest Chiropractor on Earth (TM), that I realised what I had always called migraines were actually far, far more likely to be tension headaches. I’d never had light sensitivity, I’d never seen auras or felt particularly nauseous and the pain was rarely one sided but more like a vice right around my head about hatband level with pain down into the back of my neck and upper back.

You see, the curvature of my spine means there’s one hell of a lot of tension in my trapezius muscle just to hold me up straight, not to mention all the tiny little muscles working desperately to stop my neck from flopping to one side.  And sometimes, when I’ve been working hard, when I’m super-stressed, when I’ve put my body through too much, when I’m tired, just before my period (hormonal changes during monthly cycles can create tension in the muscles), it culminates into a humdinger of a headache.

On average I have spent about 7 days of every month for the last 20 years with a tension headache of some degree or other.  These days, due to the right sort of care and attention, I have them under control enough so that I don’t have to cancel clients or spend whole days in bed.  Giving up smoking helped a ton, as does trying not to drink more than about half a glass of wine (I know, I’m a cheap date!).  Getting enough sleep is also crucial (although not always possible) but here are five other things I have found helpful over the years.

(But don’t think for a moment that I deal with my headaches solely through positive thinking and a lot of ice.  Oh no.  We’re all up for full disclosure on this little blog and as you know if you read this post, I do take painkillers too.  I just don’t take quite as many as I used to. )

1. Ice. Ice packs work really well for both tension headaches and migraines by reducing the blood flow into the head.  Try putting an ice pack (or cold cloth or bag of frozen peas) on the forehead and on the back of the neck to reduce blood flow and release muscular tension.  You could also try out one of these ice helmets (I’m thinking of getting one after hearing about them via Anna – a fellow sufferer).

2. Massage. Well I would say that wouldn’t I?! Regular massage has proved, to me at least, to be one of the most useful ways of preventing both the frequency and the intensity of my headaches.  I’m lucky enough to be able to do massage swaps with a colleague and therefore get a weekly or at least fortnightly treatment.  If you can’t afford a full hour’s massage every week how about booking half an hour once a fortnight and ask your therapist to work solely on back neck and shoulders?  Or try out your local massage school, they will always be looking for bodies to practice on!  Indian head massage is also helpful and is often a little less expensive than a full-body massage.

3. TENs Machine. You’ve probably heard about using TENs machines for labour pains but did you know they are great for tension as well?  Transcutateous Electrical Nerve Stimulation is the use of a an electric current to stimulate the nervous system for therapeutic purposes.  The unit is connected to the skin by little sticky electrodes in the relevant places (in my case the upper back and shoulders) and the pulse can be controlled by the handheld unit.   A lot of controversy exists as to whether TENs is effective for pain relief but this little machine has changed my life!  If I can get to my TENs when I first feel that tell-tale tension in my neck I can really make a difference to the intensity of my headache.  At only around £30 a pop these guys are worth a try at least.  Just make sure you get one that IS NOT for labour pain!

4. Staying Hydrated. It goes without saying really but making sure you stay hydrated can really help keep tension headaches and migraines at bay.  Drink plenty of room temperature or warm water throughout the day and remember that the body absorbs water better when it is sipped slowly over time rather than being gulped down in great quantities.  If like me, you have days when you feel more dehydrated than others (massage therapy is thirsty work let me tell you!) then you might like to try coconut water for an extra boost.  It has the same PH as blood plasma and tastes a lot better than those electrolyte powders or Lucuzade Sport (yuk!).

5. Remember that This Too Shall Pass. And this is where the yoga comes in.  Accepting where I am right now has helped me enormously with my health issues.  Knowing that tomorrow or the next day all will be well again has allowed me to sit with my headaches on those days when they will not be stopped. And beginning to learn to accept myself as I am in the present moment has been one of the most powerful healing tools I have ever come across.  Not sure where to start with this?  Try joining a meditation class or group, a Yin or VERY GENTLE yoga class, check out my post on how to start meditating or read Eckhart Tolle’s “Power of Now” or Louise Hay’s “You Can Heal Your Life”.

Do you suffer from chronic headaches or other types of chronic pain?  How do you look after yourself?

I woke up this morning and realised November is over half way through.  How did that happen?  Where did it go?  Christmas is almost upon us (yesterday I made curried parsnip soup to begin the festivities) and in just four short weeks I’ll be closing the clinic for the holidays.

Wow!

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This year has been incredible on so many levels; but it’s also been hard. Really, really hard.

Ten and a half months ago I wrote a post choosing my word of the year and what I hoped to do to get there.  I chose Joy.  I chose that word rather naively hoping that, after a couple of years of trials and tribulations I could just be allowed to be happy and joyous.

Life doesn’t work like that though does it?  To be happy, to live the life you dream of, to make the waves you want to make you have to work your butt off.

With the benefit of hindsight’s 20/20 vision it would be more pertinent to have chosen Healing as my word of the year.  Because there has been a lot of that readers.  But out of that healing has come joy abundant and I find myself, at the end of this year with a little business that’s almost sustaining itself, the ability to pick and choose my own clients and my own hours, sitting down to breakfast every morning with Himself safe in the knowledge that these days neither of us have to commute anywhere very often.  There’s food in the fridge, a roof over our heads (although I predict a move in our future – more on that next year), money in the bank (mostly).

There are memories, like our amazing month in Australia to look back on, and the beginnings of a future plan to look forward to.  There has been the arrival of Dave the Stray Cat (much to the consternation of the spoiled house-cats).  There’s been Pilates Teacher Training (done and done – thanks crooked body for being so unimaginably strong!) and that phenomenal weekend in Durham when I got the green light to start to teach BWY Foundation Course Tutor Training (whatever I say, yoga will always be my first and foremost love).

But then there’s been the chronic anxiety and the terrible health, the low iron levels, the damn trapped nerve in my neck - I’ve written a lot of Small Stones this year to try to keep me present and a lot of gratitude lists to help me remember how much worse it could be.  There’s been counselling and coaching and a lot of lightbulb moments about where I’m going wrong, where the anxiety is coming from and where I’m self-sabotaging.   There’s been a lot of blood tests and a lot of trips to the doctor and that horrible moment when I realised that why yes osteoporosis is hereditary and I await an appointment for my bone scan.

I made the decision to stop eating wheat and start eating meat (there’s a poem in that), which was a hard decision but the right one for me for many, many reasons.  I have written a lot, but none of it what I thought it was going to be (maybe that will become clearer next year, maybe it won’t) and I think I may have a better handle on my finances (with thanks to the amazing Nona Jordan and this course – which I cannot recommend highly enough. There’s another one starting in January)

There are big things coming I know, not least that move I was talking about and the whole writing and presenting my first Foundation Course.  But that’s OK.  I am a different person now to who I was 12 months ago, as though I have been broken apart and rebuilt, and I will be different again in 12 months’ time.

2011 – you’ve taught me an important lesson in balance.

2012 – I’m ready for you, bring it!