Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle
–Plato

I am notoriously bad at being kind to myself.  I look after others for a living.  I help them, show them how to be good to themselves, tell them that sometimes it’s a long road to recovery and it is important to celebrate the little victories.  Sometimes there may be a chance I give my clients too much of myself. It’s the nature of the game.

It is also common amongst those of us who look after others for a living, in whatever way that may be, to fail miserably at looking after ourselves.  I work too hard most weeks and don’t give myself enough time off.  I hardly ever get enough sleep.  Sometimes (shock horror) I eat on the hoof.  There are days when, no matter how hard I try, it’s never good enough for my damned inner critic.  Last week I got my first massage for 2 months – I know, after all that stuff I tell everyone about the importance of massage!  I’m studying really hard for two different trainings as well as teaching my classes and seeing my clients.

Eventually something has to change.  You cannot give properly to your clients if you are not giving to yourself.

But it’s not all bad news readers!  I can be kind to myself sometimes and I’m learning to do a little bit more every day.  So here are five of my favourite ways to be kind to me.**

1. Make a cup of your favourite tea, sit in your favourite chair or collapse into a pile of cushions. Do nothing else except sip that tea slowly, savouring every mouthful.  Take half an hour over it.

2. Write a letter to your inner critic, explain to her that you need time out. But be kind to her too, you don’t know what battles she’s fighting!

3. Do something differently – if you always go to yoga class, try Zumba; if you like to curl up with a book, try writing 500 words on anything at all (start with the last book you read); if you always send emails, write a handwritten letter or card.  You’ll be surprised by just how good it feels to break from the norm.

4. Drink champagne in the bath on a schoolnight.

5.  Get an early night.  And I mean ludicrously early.  Read for a bit if you want to but aim for lights out at 8.30pm.  Wake up feeling ready to face the world again.

How are you kind to yourselves, readers?

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**This post is inspired in part by Fiona Robyn’s Writing Towards Healing e-course which I am currently taking part in.  The next one is in January but click here for a full list of her courses.

In answer to the question as to why it is so hard for us to be kind to ourselves, Fiona writes:-

“When we are kind [to ourselves] we lay ourselves open and….[are] more susceptible to being hurt…..  When we create a space through being kind to ourselves grief and disappointment rushes in.”

Our inner critic, I have found, is a form of control.

Better the devil you know.

Well I think we all know that isn’t true!

(jeans, wrap top in photos 2 and 3 and vests model’s own! )

TranquiliT – probably the nicest, comfiest, most stylish yoga trousers I’ve ever practiced in (last picture), and oh such gorgeous transition clothes.  Very happy with my order and would recommend TranquiliT to everyone.  Made in Washington DC out of bamboo, a tree planted for every order and sent with a teabag and two lavender bags.  What more could a sprinkler of fairy dust want?

My only warning is, if you live outside of the States/Canada, check the import tax first.  It’s worth it, I guarantee but it’s nicer if it’s not a huge shock when the letter arrives!!

Regularity and Simplicity go hand in hand.

A long time ago, before I even contemplated training to be a yoga teacher I practice Astanga Vinyasa yoga. I longed to be able to practice 6 days a week as the tradition prescribed but the time it took to do full Primary made it almost impossible to fit into my daily routine (without getting up at 4.30am or something equally foolish!), so it turned out that apart from my bi-weekly Astanga classes, my mat stayed in it’s funky mat bag!

Over the years, with my discovery of Viniyoga and Satyananda (both of which traditions I draw inspiration from) and especially my discovery and training in Yoga Therapy, and of course becoming a teacher myself, I began to find that the more simple you kept your practice, the more regular your practice would be. I know that my 30 minute practice every morning does me far more good than struggling on my mat for 2 hours and only managing it once a week.

Once I began my daily practice I noticed that other things in my life became routines as well. For example, I get up early every morning to do my yoga practice even though I don’t really have to get up as early as I do, it just feels right these days. I have also found my life becoming more simple. I no longer crave the excitement I used to and am happy here at home with my belove and my kitties!

When I work with clients on a one-to-one basis I have two pieces of advice I give them for sticking to their self practice:-

1) Keep it Simple – Don’t make hugely ambitious goals for yourself that you will never keep. Let’s start with 20 minutes of yoga 2 or 3 times a week.

2) However simple the goal STICK WITH IT!!!! If you don’t feel like getting on your mat just do it anyway. After a few weeks you’ll just step on your mat regardless.

With more routine and regularity in my life, my life has become better. All my adventures these days begin on my mat!

Namaste