The first day of spring approaches (as does a forecast of snow as usual and the mad rush to bring the plants back indoors before they are killed by the inclemency — but that’s another story), and I find my mind turning to rites of spring, rites of passage, letting go of the old and drawing in the new.

Usually at this time of year I change my yoga practice. Through the winter I tend towards a gentle restorative practice, lots of seated and supine postures; but as the spring arrives and the energy starts to rise from the ground again I bring back sun saluations, strong standing sequences and more intense twists. It changes my perspectives on life for the new seasons, re-energising and renewing; as well as kick starting me from my sluggish, hibernatory winter coat.

This year is slightly different. I am still suffering in the back department and still under chiropractor’s orders to keep it simple for a couple more weeks before bringing stronger more classical yoga postures into my practice again. So while my practice itself won’t be changing, my attitude to it will.

The biggest change for me this spring, which really is starting all over again from a brand new bulb almost, is that tomorrow is my last day in my corporate job. After tomorrow I begin spring and my brand new life — dedicated to teaching and studying yoga.

One of the most important things for me about this, which fits in nicely with the change in the seasons, is that I will be able to change the time of day at which I practice. I currently practice, be that classical yoga or my chiropractic exercises enhanced, before bed. I’m tired, eager for sleep, dozing during savasana. From Friday onwards I will no longer have to leave the house at the crack of dawn to get the train to work and will be able to practice in the morning when the energy is ringing and I have the whole day ahead of me.

So sing out for the start of spring and all the possibilities it brings!

Every night I ask my students to relax and let go; let go of all the activities and events of the day. To start to forget about what has happened, worry not about what might happen and instead focus on the present moment – trying not to think past the next breath; whether lying in savasana or holding a difficult pose.

And yet what if I ask myself these questions? On the rare occassions that I even find the time to ask myself these questions I hold the thought for a few seconds, but within a breath or two my mind is racing again – back to all the things I must do, all the things I could do better, all the things I need to achieve tonight, this week, this month.

Bit of a hypocrite really aren’t I?!

So mindfulness – where to start. With self study to begin with; noticing behavioural patterns, noticing how I allocate my time; this latter I have done to the shocking realisation that all I really do is rush around from class to class from work to yoga. How yogic! I need to be honest with myself, face up to my own truths no matter how painful that is, because without seeing my own truth how can I possibly tell others how to look for theirs?

But mostly I need to let go of my fear of failure, my desperate need to achieve. It is no less than grasping, stealing, constantly wanting more. I need instead to access a state of abundance and flow by remaining in the present and enjoying the time that is available to me right now.

A tall order, but something for me to think about as my last week in my day job approaches. I need to change my attitude and experience of time and achievement and it is not until I practice this myself that I can truly teach my students to be in the present moment.

My yoga practice these last couple of weeks have involved a lot of work on my scoliosis. My last trip to the chiropractor left me with a raise in my shoe and a whole new exercise regime to work on strength in my neck and upper back as well as releasing tension in those same areas.

I was a bit despondent when I first came out. He just wanted me to stick to the exercise regime and try not to do any yoga asana for a while — I guess the idea is that you try one thing at a time otherwise how do you know it’s working? Still it’s kind of hard to be told, as a yoga teacher, that your own practice should be put on hold for a while.

On the whole I’m incredibly lucky with my chiro as he is *very* yoga friendly and I refer some of my clients to him and vice versa (mainly because he knows I teach rehabilitative yoga). But it didn’t stop it feeling somewhat sucky to hear this. However, I do trust him, so I decided to stick with it.

I’m about 10 days in now and I’m actually really noticing the difference. Amazingly so. The pain, whilst still there, has subsided about 40% which is the first time it’s done that in over a year. The other thing this new set of exercises has made me realise is that pretty much anything can be yoga.

I’ve practiced the exercises in lieu of my daily yoga practice. I’ve started off with a few cat/cow stretches and a few gentle down dogs and taken it from there. I’ve worked each exercise into a pattern with my breath and finished with 10 minutes of savasana, a pranayama practice and a meditation.

All in I’m really happy with this practice for as long as I need it. The important thing about yoga is that it’s about working with your body in whatever your body needs at that point. And this isn’t always classical asana. In fact, the more I teach the more I notice that classical asana aren’t the best thing for some people’s bodies. The most important thing about yoga is right there in the name. “Yoke” or union. The union of breath and movement. The breath bringing the union between body and mind. Classical yoga asana are a way of achieving a comfortable seated position for mediation, so if that is the conclusion of the practice does it matter on the exact body movements we use to get there?

My chiropractic exercises have opened up a whole new enquiry into my practice and what I want from it, and whether I am getting that. And that’s just great. Because yoga, to me, is a journey, one that may never have a specific destination but that changes daily with my own breath and my own body.